Monday, December 15, 2014

Apathy (A Tool of Coercion in Dystopian Governments - Part 1/4)

In many dystopian novels—indeed, in many novels with any sort of totalitarian or dictatorial government—there are those oppressed individuals known as the masses. The repressed populace. They suffer the indignities of cruel governments and/or rulers, undergo horrific things in the name of "the greater good." But what about their good? What about the welfare of the individual? What stops people from rising up against these terrible things?

I'm going to use six different dystopian series, as well as references from history, as my examples when answering these questions, but it really all boils down to four very simple things: apathy, fear, blame, and hope. This blog will actually be broken up into four separate posts to prevent having to scroll through a lengthy research-paper-length post if anyone wants to look for something specific.


Apathy

The first factor is apathy. According to the dictionary, apathy is defined as indifference, a lack of concern, or a lack of interest. Basically, a state of apathy is a state of just plain not caring. It's a sad truth that most people (in this country, at least) can't be roused to a true state of caring unless something directly affects them or someone they know. The most you'll get is, "Oh, that's horrible." And then they'll move on to something they feel is more relevant to them. I saw this constantly in high school, in students as well as adults. I was even guilty of it myself due to my PTSD, but that's another story for another time. Sadly, a lot of people just don't care about anyone beyond themselves or their sphere of friends and loved ones. How many people ignore a kid being abused by their parents in a parking lot? Or walk by someone being ripped to shreds by their peers? I'm not saying everyone does this. I know they don't. But a lot of people do. And that is often the first thing a lot of people do in different dystopian novels, though for many different reasons.

In Ann Aguire's Enclave, which is actually a horribly written book but with viable and very-well developed characterization of the MC (for the first 2/3 of the novel, anyway), there's a girl named Deuce. Deuce is a fighter for her enclave who lives in a world of kill-or-be-killed, predator-and-prey. She believes she can't afford to care about anyone who can't take care of themselves because that is how she was raised in a world where failure to protect yourself means death for you and countless other people. So though she feels some guilt, when the council of her enclave votes for the death of a blind nine-year-old boy because he's basically a drain on their resources and can't take care of himself or contribute to the welfare of the community, she doesn't protest (even silently).

A similar thing happens later in the novel (in the final third that really just makes me want to know what this author was smoking when she wrote it*, yet sadly this part sort of fits with Deuce's personality) when Deuce meets a guy called Wolf. Wolf is not only a thug and a killer, he's an admitted rapist. But because he can fight and Deuce and her partner are in a dangerous area, she puts aside what he's done in the past—including kidnap and try to rape Deuce and their third member—in order to use his fighting prowess against their enemies. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, but her total acceptance, her attitude of "that was then, this is now" is exactly the sort of "don't care" attitude I'm talking about in this post.

*
The thing that just totally throws me isn't that Deuce allows Wolf to live and uses him fight with them; it's that he's the second guy in her little love triangle and she's okay with that. She actually finds him attractive. I'm just like, "What kind of crack-acid do you smoke?" This is near the middle of the final third of the book, so I finished it anyway, but I just could not believe this. And people complain about Stephenie Meyer and The Twilight Saga, and how Edward's abusive. Um, Ann Aguire got optioned for a trilogy, I heard there might be a movie, and she's a best-seller. Not as big as S. Meyer, but still! With an idiot like that for a heroine? Really? Okay, rant over.


In Matched, the main character, Cassia, is one of those rare individuals who has rarely questioned the Society—the totalitarian system in which she lives. Though there are some things about the Society's rules that she doesn't like, she doesn’t really care about them enough to worry. Why? For a very different reason than Deuce: Cassia knows what the Society has provided for her in exchange for these "small unpleasantries."

In the Society, for example, Cassia opts to get married eventually (she can choose to remain single for the rest of her life if she chooses). The boy who will become her husband is dictated by the Officials based on the data they've collected about her personality and other traits compared to the boy's over the course of their lives. That would irritate the crud out of me, but not Cassia, and with valid reason—her parents were Matched by the Society and have a very happy and healthy relationship, a relationship just like the one Cassia wants for herself. She knows other people who've been happily Matched with their spouse by the Society as well. So this lack of choice doesn’t bother her because of the happiness of what is basically a guaranteed outcome. She's seen the process, seen how it works, and seen the results—which are results she wants.

The same applies to most of what's going on in her life: her job, her recreational activities, even her diet. In the beginning of the book, the restriction of her choices doesn't bother her because she's trading the ability to choose for what she believes she wants based on what she's seen from other people.

The one time Cassia almost violently breaks this mold of not caring, of trading her choices for happiness, is when her father dies. In the Society, people die at eighty years old on their birthday, by government mandate. This sounds outrageous. Crazy. Absolutely ridiculous. But even though Cassia is stricken by her grandfather's death, even though she at times thinks that it isn't fair, she still has that mindset of trading choice for happiness.

This also touches a little on fear, so we'll explore that in another segment of this blog series, but again—her desire for a specific outcome that she sees all around her helps Cassia set aside her concerns about the Society (when she has them, which only happens regularly once the plot picks up).

In The Hunger Games, we see apathy in its worst form: people who don't care because they worry too much about themselves to be bothered with other people. Now, let me again stress, not everyone is like that in the series. And those that are have good reason. For the most part, the people in District 12 are barely scraping by. Katniss and her family nearly starved to death after her father died when she was twelve because they are so poor. She basically lives in one of the ghettos of Panem (the country in which this takes place).

Though a few of her neighbors in District 12 help her out a little—this is the starting point for her relationship with Peeta Mellark, the other tribute from District 12, who risked a beating from his mother to give Katniss and her family a few burnt loaves of bread—they can't help very much because they, too, are in dire straits and can't afford to help. Those that aren't in such straits simply don't care. An example is Peeta's (relatively) wealthy mother, who would rather give the burnt bread to their pig than give it to a starving child. And the government of Panem actually actively encourages this attitude towards neighbors as well as between the districts, helping to discourage any teamwork between the different districts against the Capitol.

Specifically with Districts 5-12 in The Hunger Games, the Capitol also encourages another form of apathy: the lethargy/uncaring induced by lack of will/strength. As I mentioned previously, most of these people are not wealthy. They barely scrape by unless they resort to poaching (as Katniss does, which is illegal and is actually a capital offense). When every minute of the day is filled with the efforts to feed yourself and your family, most people don't have the energy to plot political unrest or rebellion (though some do). They are literally too tired to do anything, even care, most of the time.

And onto that, one district could not take out the forces of the entire Capitol, and it is very difficult to travel between the districts. The Capitol has, of course, done this on purpose to keep communication to a minimum between districts, to keep them from banding together. You see a similar concept in detention in schools—teachers keep the kids separate to keep them from talking to each other. In Panem, distrust of the other districts is also pumped up because of the event of the Hunger Games within the story. This helps contribute to the general attitude of, "It's too difficult, too risky, without enough payoff" in regards to rebellion.

In The Iron Codex by Caitlin Kittredge, the apathy comes more from an established class hierarchy than anything else. Example: a well-to-do family doesn’t give a flying rat's buttered carcass if a homeless person labeled as a psychopath and a heretic (similar in this world to being called a Communist) is carted off to prison without a trial, or killed in the street, so long as they don't have to step around the blood puddle.

The same applies to those individuals in this world who contract what is known as the necrovirus, a so-called sickness that turns people into monsters. So long as everyone who "matters" is kept safe from the virus and the inhuman things it breeds, they don't care how those who're infected are dealt with—especially because it has no cure.

You see the same thing in Lauren Oliver's Delirium. In Delirium, the MC Lena doesn’t care about many of the restrictions placed on her: a city-enforced curfew of 9:00pm; rules about fraternizing with males (yeah, you saw that); censored reading, movie, and musical material. She only cares about being kept safe from the "disease" that killed her mother by causing her to commit suicide and nearly killed her sister—amora deliria nervosa (aka intense emotion).

And this really ties into the fear-aspect of the totalitarian government. Without fear—fear of what happens to me, be it from a natural influence such as starvation, or a manmade influence such as government reprisals, or something like a highly contagious illness—most people don't have the "don't care" issue in these novels. Their apathy is heightened by their fear. So long as they are kept safe, they don't care what has to happen to ensure that.

Which leads us to our next blog post: Fear as a Tool of Coercion in Dystopian Governments.

Monday, December 1, 2014

NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo is DEATH!

Okay, no it's not. But it was HARD, man! And as a Latter-Day Saint, I couldn't write on Sundays (oh, the humanity!), and I don't have time on Saturdays because those are my editing days with my critique partner. This eliminates 10 days (count them! TEN!) out of the 30 I had for NaNoWriMo.

And yet...I still managed to make it to 52,000 words! WOOT WOOT! Yeah!

Seriously, everybody, I encourage anyone who needs motivation to do NaNoWriMo. I work 40 hours a week, and November is one of those accursed holiday months, but I still managed to make my goal and stay motivated without getting discouraged. Except for the time when my husband deleted 2000 words off my document by accident. Then I broke down into hysterical sobbing for a good 20 minutes because it was 4 AM.

But aside from that, it was actually pretty awesome. Of course I had like, zero time for anything else (including my Booktube subscriptions - cue sad panda) but I definitely intend to do it against next year.

Anyway, it's December now, which makes it NaDeFiMo - National December Finishing Month! Because I've only ever written a 50,000 word manuscript once, and it was my first book, and I was 10. So yeah. I've got at least another 45,000 words to go. Wish me luck!

Laters!

Friday, November 21, 2014

A Coat of Arms!

Someone actually put a coat of arms together for Dylan based on my explanation! I cannot believe this!! How neato is this, you guys?!?!


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Projects in the Works

Now the point of this page is to help me keep my projects straight. They come in 4 categories: Currently Working On, ON Back-Burner, Cloud of Nebulous Ideas, and I'll Get to It One Day. So here they are.

CURRENTLY WORKING ON

BLADES OF FIRE & ICE - Mirabehn and her stepbrother Yaksha plot to ruin Lalita, a fellow student at their elite sorcery academy, when Mirabehn learns Lalita's family might be the reason her late mother's reputation as a sorceress was ruined and Mirabehn was passed over for a prestigious magic class. Complications arise when Yaksha becomes fond of Lalita and begins falling in love with Lalita's sister. Dangerous Liaisons meets Mean Girls, with magic and murder, in a high fantasy world inspired by Hindu mythology and Indian history.

NIGHT-DREAMED ROADS (TO THE CITY OF SLEEP) - When their magic teacher falls ill, a group of acolyte witches must journey to a ruined city to save their teacher's foster son as a test to prove they're ready to become full-fledged witches. Genderbent "Sleeping Beauty" in a solarpunk, post-post-apocalyptic world 170 years in the future starring the fairies.



ON THE BACK-BURNE


KATSCHEI - Ayao should have been the princess of the Summer Kingdom, but she was born with witch's magic. Bargained off as the bride to the cruel, immortal tsar of the Winterlands, she will do whatever it takes to end the centuries-long war between their countries. But there is more to Tsar Katschei than Ayao realizes, and the dark forces behind the war won't be stopped by political maneuvers. It will take all of Ayao's skill as a mati wata - a water-witch favored by the magical orishas of the Summer Kingdom - to end the war once and for all. Beauty and the Beast set against a high-fantasy world inspired by Slavic fairytales and Santerian mythology.
 

LACEY AND TIM - Lacey and her twin brother Tim don't mind that their house is full of dead bodies or that they're stuck wearing all black even when they're not in mourning or that their nanny's been undead for a solid decade. They like living in a mortuary and having a dead witch for a babysitter means outtings are never boring affairs. And their parents trust them with the family secret: the mortuary is just a front, a means of providing aid to the otherworldly beings known as midnight immortals that frequent NAN (the Nocturnal Alliance Network) for help quietly faking their deaths and relocating to different parts of the world under new names with new lives without normal humans finding out. One day a midnight immortal that comes to their parents for help is murdered in the mortuary and a strange golden orb is stolen from his pocket. Unable to go to the police, their parents realize someone has uncovered their connection to the Alliance. Then they disappear, too, leaving Tim and Lacey on their own to figure out where they've gone, who killed the immortal, what is so special about the orb, and what to do next -- before they become the next victims. A middle-grade gaslamp fantasy mystery set in city reminiscent of Victorian Hong Kong. 

LADY OF HYAKKI YAKO - American thread-witch and fashion designer Grant Ishida must go to the daimyo of the local yokai clan when his brother is kidnapped by a man-eating spider demon. The daimyo sends Ayame, a yokai kunoichi, to escort Grant through an otherworldly dimension reminiscent of feudal Japan, but Ayame has secrets of her own. The fairytale of "The Snow Queen" set in a magical, feudal Japan populated by Japanese myths and legends.


SAMEDI - An immortal Haitian death-prince must track his wayward brother to America to stop him from combining ghede-magic with Frankenstein's science to create unkillable monsters. In order to succede, he'll need the help of a young aerialist from a strange circus with ties to the late Dr. Frankenstein and his monster. A loose retelling of Hades and Persephone.
 
SAYURI - Hostile aliens attack a starship captain fresh out of the academy. In order to escape, she risks going through a temporal-spatial rift and crashlands on modern-day Earth with her living ship. Chased across space and through time by the aliens, Sayuri and Boreal - an extraterrestrial, sentient starship - have to team up with Eric, a modern guy who happened to be in the wrong place at the right time, in order to discover the aliens plan before they rewrite history.

STONESPEAKER - Avatars of the Chinese Zodiac and masters of Shaolin alchemy, Lia and her brother Demetrius have to decide who to trust when they find out the government and their parents are lying to them. In a near-future world where magic is a common ability and Chinese demons prowl the back alleys of every city, all Lia knows for sure is that the Zodiac have a mission. Now if only she and her brother knew what that was.


TEMPUS PSYCHE - In an alternate world where witches live alongside normal humans and people are born with soul-clocks that count down to the moment you meet your "true love," a blind witch communicates with the deaf boy she loves via sleepwritten letters and enchanted music while trying to protect him from the murderous stalker who's killed off her last six potential soulmates.


TIGRESS SHARK - Ren wakes up with no memory and on the run from the Ningyo Empress's guards in this Southeast-Asian high fantasy steampunk adventure that combines "The Little Mermaid" and "Snow White." Teaming up with the exiled crown princess-turned-smuggler Captain Tigress and her crew of ghost-pirates, Ren must uncover the secrets locked inside his memories in order to depose the Empress and give the princess back her throne.

CLOUD OF NEBULOUS IDEAS

HOLIDAY - sort of a Nightmare Before Christmas meets The Neverending Story with a dash of Rise of the Guardians.

THE GIRL FROM DUNWICH - a contemporary dark fantasy inspired by HP Lovecraft.

I'LL GET TO IT ONE DAY

WHERE THE HEART IS - I'm actually almost done with this, I just have been so wrapped up in YA that I don't have time for adult romance anymore. BUT! An embittered lawyer learns his late sister had a child, but her legal guardian - a woman with some very good reasons to hate his family - refuses to give the child up. A contemporary retelling of Rapunzel.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

EIDOLON (Summary)

In the principality of Thule, the young crown princess Madeline Usher has committed suicide; her brother the prince is dead of an illness. With no heirs to succeed them, the royal House of Usher has fallen. In its place rises the House of Prospero with Lady Morella Prospero ascending the Midnight Throne.

Janine Fortunata is a young noble, the heir of her House, groomed since early childhood to one day take the family seat on the Council of the Eight Noble Houses. She was also the late princess's best friend and a member of the Raven Society, a secret vigilante team of nobles organized by Princess Madeline before her death. When a letter from the princess proves her death was no suicide, Janine must uncover secrets going back centuries, a conspiracy of dark magic, murder, and the ravenous specter of a long-dead princess who once ruled all of Thule with an infamous lust for blood and no mercy. A princess whose name was once spoken only in frightened whispers—Ligeia.

In a corrupt city where the police are as cruel as the crime lords, and plagued by strange blackouts, hallucinations, and nightmares that make her question everything she knows, Janine will need help discovering the truth. The only people she can trust are her cousin Berenice—aristocrat horticulturalist by day, lethal swordswoman by night—and Roderick Montresor: fellow Raven, the sworn enemy of Janine's family, and the man she's secretly loved for years. With fealty and forbidden love on her side, the Raven Society at her back, and a bloodthirsty killer calling themselves Red Jack stalking her and the other Ravens, Janine will have to uncover the truth behind what really happened to Princess Madeline and save the people she loves from the ancient evil brewing beneath the city. Unless that evil has already taken root inside her.

Friday, October 24, 2014

SAMEDI (Summary)



There is a world that mixes Victorian and medieval sensibilities and style, sorcery and science, the mythical and the mundane…
When Brigida de Marfil finds a young gentleman beaten unconscious outside the grounds of the traveling Moundshroud Carnival, she and the other members of the carnival take him in and nurse him back to health. Though the young man—who calls himself Mr. Samuel Byron—is courteous and gentle, Brigida knows there's more to him than meets the eye. The roiling mass of darkness posing as his aura is the first clue; the Grim Reaper visage that covered his face when he stopped some drunken audience members from harassing her is another. Whatever he is, Sam has a mission at the Moundshroud Carnival, and Brigida is determined to figure out what it is.
Samuel Byron is no ordinary gentleman of means. He is actually Baron Samedi, a ghede—a prince from the royal family of Haitian death-masters, immortal vodouists with mastery over the dead, dying, and diseased—and he's on the trail of his younger brother and the men who have persuaded him to use the ghede death-magic for evil: Ernest Frankenstein, younger brother of a late and infamous European scientist; and the cruelly beautiful Lord Dorian Gray, who seeks the key to eternal life. Samuel knows these men mean to trick Loraj into mingling death-magic with mortal science to unlock the secrets of immortality and ultimate power of life and death. If Samuel doesn't stop his brother in time, innocent humans could die, and the Ghede royal family will put a stop to Loraj once and for all—by any means necessary.
Torn between protecting his misguided younger brother and stopping Frankenstein and Gray, Samuel finds himself in need of Brigida's help…because Brigida is no ordinary carnival aerialist. The daughter of a Spanish witch and a flesh-eating wendigo—with some fairly powerful magic in her blood, a ravenous darkness burning inside her, and a tame chupacabra as her familiar—Brigida is more than equal to the task of helping Samuel stop Gray, Frankenstein, and their growing army of undead monstrosities. It's Haitian vodoun and Spanish witchcraft against unnatural science; and with the help of the other "unique" individuals of the Moundshroud Carnival, Samuel might just stand a chance of getting through all of this alive.
As long as the ghede royal family never finds out about Brigida and the carnival.

Monday, September 22, 2014

TIGRESS SHARK (Summary)



Ren Fa snaps awake in a back alley in Kaitei City with no memory of how he got there or where is he is or even who he is. He only knows three things: his name, the name of the man who woke up in the alley next to him, and that he has to get out of the city before a nebulous someone from his forgotten past tracks him down and kills him. In order to escape a city in the grip of a tyrannical governor, he and the equally amnesiac Li Jiang sneak aboard a merchant vessel taking books to the far-off city of Gaôzu.
Only it's not a merchant vessel. It's a disguised nauto-aeroship—a ship fueled by alchemy that can travel by sea and air—and it's captained by one of the most notorious pirates in the Yè Xiàn Ocean or the Yún Sea of Clouds above it. The government calls her a necromancer and a criminal. The oppressed citizens of the empire call her a hero. Her men, ghost-warriors rescued from the empress's slave camps, call her simply Captain MÅ­lăohÅ­, the Tigress.
A dethroned princess with an unusual connection to the sea, Mŭlăohŭ has more important things to worry about than two stowaways on her ship. She has a little sister to overthrow and an empire to take back. But Ren may hold the key to doing just that, if his secrets and his past don't get them killed first.
In an alternate steampunk world resembling a dystopian Imperial China, where condemned men are sentenced to eternity in terra cotta prisons and mermaids have razor teeth and a thirst for blood, where sky pirates are the good guys and smuggling books is a capital crime, this is the story of two sisters vying for a throne and the man caught between them…who may or may not be an enemy. TIGRESS SHARK will take you from the Beijing-like city of Kaitei to the depths of the Yè Xiàn Ocean, from the Valley of the Emperor's Necropolis to the heights of the Jade City floating in the Yún Sea of Clouds as MÅ­lăohÅ­ and Ren lead the first wave of a rebellion five years in the making.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

WWC WK11: Heart Gear



Darkness.


It is all around me, swamping me like the waves of the sea. I have been in this cocoon of blackness for what seemed an eternity, but I can't remember why. Who brought me here? Was it... the boy? What was his name?


Everything is different now. I know that much. I'd been sent to take care of... someone. But I don't remember who. It is simply my task to watch over... watch over... I can't remember.


I am a Recording Angel. Even now, I can feel the gears and wheels inside my chest rotating, spinning in my internal darkness. Like some well-oiled machine, my levers slide up and down, my wheels turn, my pulleys shift. And in the pitch blackness of what I can only assume is my prison, only my memories keep me sane. I was meant to record the death and resurrection of mankind. I am a recording angel.


Remember, I tell myself. Weightless madness creeps close, so I cling to my thoughts, the sound of my own voice in my head. Remember the ones you have lost. Remember the boy. He is the resurrection, the savior of mankind. What is his name?


Remember, remember, remember, remember....


***


Once there was a place for the recording angels. I can still recall the smell of aloe gel greasing the gears in my wings, the oil smoothed over my bronze feathers to make them shine. I remembered the house, stucco the color of the inside of a conch shell. In the middle of the vast desert, that house reminded me of the sea. Towering Joshua trees shaded the walls.


And I remembered the child.


I saw him, long ago before the world exploded in countless atomic fires. He ran through the desert, tears pouring down his face. Even half-complete, in my mistress's work shed, I could see the grief twisting his face. The guitar in his hands gleamed like sweat and tears. In the fading sun, the strings glinted like metallic blood. The boy rushed by me, desperate to escape some evil. And behind him, I could see the hounds.


The hounds have always been, as long as there were recording angels. They are the creatures of shadow and blackness, birthed from the life in shattered springs and gears. Vomited up after bombs and nuclear destruction decimate life. All creation brings life. Even the destructive creations made by mankind.


Those black shadow hounds chased the boy. The light turned their gears to razored wheels of bloody metal. Their eyes burned like hellfire. The child couldn't see them. I knew that. But he could feel them, the fetid breath on his neck from beasts that should not breathe. They would chase him until his pain fell away. The hounds hungered for the pain of man, pain they could not feel because of their broken circuits and springs.


I tried to move. My wings flexed, and my feathers screeched as they bent and buckled. My gears slid through the aloe my mistress used to oil them. One arm, bronze framework wrapped in brown leather, lifted. My metal fingers reached for the child. I wanted to save him. I was a recording angel, and my task was to protect man until the day of the world's resurrection. But I was not finished. I could do nothing but watch.


He outran them. This was before children grew sickly and frail, before the great atomic fires that burned the world. I watched him outrun the hounds, up a hill of scrub, cactus and red stone. And he took shade beneath a Joshua tree. In those times, the sacred still existed in the wilds in abundance.


The sun groped its way towards the mountains, desperate to hide its face from humanity as the world slowly moved toward Armageddon. Night fell like a shroud.


When the boy came back, he didn't run. He walked, hand in hand with a girl I knew was like me. Deep inside, there were gears and springs instead of a heart. Cream colored silk and dark green and brown leather hugged the framework of her body, moving as fluidly as aloe oil with each step she took.


Here was a child of clockwork, the ones that occurred naturally, that man could only try to poorly imitate. The girl was one of the clockwork pieces made by the Lord of Creation to watch over the world. She was clockwork, but the girl loved that human boy.


I could see it, even then, in her eyes.


***


My mistress finished me soon six months after I saw the boy's flight to the mountains and his return with a clockwork tree spirit. Did he know what she was? I doubted it. Except for the angels, most of us were meant to blend with the humans.


The last bolt was finished none too soon. My mistress laid aside her soldering tool, wiped the sweat from her brow, and smiled. I knew enough of human emotions to realize she was tired, and that the glimmer in her dark eyes was what mankind called fear. Was she afraid of me?


"You know what you're to do, Seraphine?" She asked, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her white coat.


I searched her face, wishing there was some clue to her fear. Was it the tiny burns flecking her skin from wayward sparks? Or the bruise on one cheek that told me someone had hurt her? When she pulled her hand out of her pocket to adjust one of my facial pieces, I saw the smallest of her fingers had been splinted. If I'd had a face capable of expression, I would have frowned.


"Tucson's been evacuated, but there are children here still. You have to find them. You have to protect them. The Avenging Angels have already been loosed in the city to create safe havens for them once you and the other Recorders find them."


Why is she here? I thought, confusing buzzing through the copper coils and along the surfaces of the gears in my body. She should not be here. Dangerous.


"Soldiers are coming," my maker continued, helping me down from the platform where she had set me to make it easier to weld me together. The feel of the dust and wood of the floor beneath my feet made my head gears whirl and click. Whatever my mistress used for my brain and my memory processed and stored the sensory input.


"Everything is going to hell," she whispered, glancing at the shuttered windows. They had never been closed before... until today. What had happened? "You've got to keep the children safe, Seraphine. There are others like you - a thousand choirs of angels. They will help."


"W-w-why? Why... soldiers?"


"We lost the war," she said, and somehow I knew her voice was sad. A drop of water trailed from the corner of her eye down one cheek: a tear. "They're going to come here first. The enemy governments suspect we've been working on clockwork life forms. You have to be gone before then. Please go."


"L-leave?"


"Yes," my mistress said, swiping at her undamaged cheek. Pushing back the wisps of fly-away hair that I had seen her fiddle with throughout my creation, she added, "Yes, Seraphine. You can't be here when they come. If they knew you existed, they'd simply bomb the city until none of you were left. They won't risk nuclear fallout if they're uncertain. We cannot allow them certainty."


"Go... now?"


"Go now."


"Goodbye?" I asked.


"Yes, this is goodbye." She touched my face. I could feel the pressure of her fingers against the thin shell of brass that made up my cheek. "You are the last one, the last Recorder, the last Angel I will ever make. I only pray I've done enough. Go well, and endure to the end, until the day of the Resurrection of Man comes. Find the one who will lead them. The boy who once could fly. Go quickly."


And she left her work shed and disappeared inside her house. I never saw my mistress again.


***


It took another six months to find the boy and his clockwork girl again. Six months of wandering blisteringly hot streets inhabited by feral strays of all kinds.


Animals like coyotes, cats, and javalinas learned quickly that to bite one such as I would result in broken teeth or bleeding cuts to the tongue. The bronze strips that held me together were edged with razored iron and though my leather skin soon cracked and became brittle under the desert sun, the sharp steel edging my "bones" kept me safe from predators.


Children whispered from their shadowy hideouts as I passed, searching for the Savior. Sometimes they would send their leaders to speak to me. Some of them knew about the Angels. Some conclaves of stray children were even guarded by the Warrior Angels that had been made by humans like my mistress.


Always I recorded their child faces and their thin voices, their stories. I was to record as much of mankind as I could for the time of Man's resurrection. They could not be allowed to lose too much of their civilization. Their words are imprinted in my gears.


"My name is Katie and I'm a scout with the Nest."


"I'm Jake. The soldiers killed my mom and dad and my older brother. I hid in the dumpster by our apartment complex until they left."


"Coraline never talks. She always has the cat with her because the cat can smell soldiers a bazillion miles away. Kitty and Coraline always tell us when to hide and where to go so the soldiers can't find us."


"I'm Janie, the leader of the Hawks, and we need medicine for our sick people. Do you know if the UMC has anything left in its stores? Or did soldiers take it all?"


"David knows how to fix cars so we can travel if things get too bad. We have army cars. He said those kinds are called... um... HumVees! Yeah, HumVees...."


Thousands of children let me record them, so they would never be lost. There was more than Katie, Jake, Coraline, Janie, and David. Too many children to count. If I were human, I could never remember them all. My mistress knew that when she made the Recording Angels.


Yet I couldn’t find the one child I needed. The boy with the clockwork tree spirit was the one. He would lead mankind to freedom, to hope. He was the one who would save us all. I had to find him.


***


Eventually I did.


Soldiers marched through the streets, shooting at stray animals and crushing the snakes that slithered under their boots. The boy with the guitar huddled inside the abandoned shell of a McDonald's. The clockwork girl peered over the row of ovens, her strange eyes intent. They widened fractionally when she saw me.


"What are you?" She hissed, her voice as golden as the gears that served as her heart. "You are not a dryad or naiad."


"Natural clockwork, I am not," I replied, hunkering down behind the scorched and half-melted ovens beside them. The boy did not seem surprised by my appearance. Had he known I tracked them? "I am a Recording Angel. I was made by Dr. Kate Martin."


"A Recording Angel?" The clockwork dryad demanded, crossing her arms. I'd never seen such a dainty clockwork creation. Whereas I had been forged of brass, iron, and leather, she was silver, gold, and silk brocade. How did she keep from tearing? I could not be so fragile and survive as long, I knew.


"I've heard of you," the boy said. "Orpheus wrote songs about you."


"Orpheus?"


"The leader of Cassandra," he muttered. If I had been human, I would have smiled. Cassandra - the resistance movement against the humans who had invaded this place. "He swore he'd been saved by an angel made of brass and leather," the boy continued. "Was that you?"


I shook my head. It had to have been one of the others of my kind, and I said so. Then I added, "I saw you running."


"What?"


"The day you found her," I said, gesturing to the clockwork girl. "I saw you running. What were you running from? You ran to the foot of the mountain."


He stared at me, his gray eyes wide in his dusty, soot-smudged face. How had the boy I had seen warped into this thin, sickly child of the resistance? He muttered, "My dad enlisted in the army."


I nodded. The war had taken nearly everyone over the age of seventeen. No wonder the hounds had howled and chased after the boy's pain.


A noise touched my sound sensors - feet on pavement, the rumble of machinery. "We have to go," I said.


"Why should Peter or I go anywhere with you?" The clockwork girl demanded. I tried to shrug. It was difficult, with the ball-sockets of my shoulders covered thickly with grit.


"Stay or go, it is your choice. But soldiers come. Will you stay to die?"


The girl turned to the boy. After six months of living, of wandering among men, I could easily read the doubt in her eyes. This, then, was the difference between a natural clockwork entity and one made by men: she could feel emotion, and I could not.


The boy, Peter, glanced over his shoulder as the rumble of tanks and Humvees made the loose scraps of metal on the stoves and dusty floor rattle. Then he turned to the girl. His determined expression affirmed what I had known all along: this boy was the One.


"We have to trust her, Bell."


The girl eyed me, nodded, and we bolted and ran.


Peter stayed between us. Bell, the clockwork dryad with the golden voice, raced ahead, the wind streaming through her hair. I smelled aloe when her scent touched my facial sensory screen. The human boy, ungainly as only a human could be, kept steady between us. I could see the sweat pouring from his skin and dampening his ragged green t-shirt shirt. And I ran, effortless, enjoying the ability to stretch my wings, to let the dust and dirt drift from my bolts.


Someone shouted behind us. I glanced over my shoulder. Soldiers were lining up beside the McDonald's, priming their rifles. If I'd been human, or natural clockwork, fear would have shivered through me. These men could run us down with their vehicles, but why not shoot us like the animals they thought we were? Did they even realize what Bell and I were? Or did they have eyes only for Peter?


"Faster, human!" I yelled, pointing to strip mall across the parking lot. Once, it had been a chain of little shops and a large grocery store. Now they were hallow, dark shells. And I knew what lay within the darkness of those empty structures. "Into the shops, there!"


I stopped and turned to the soldiers.


Peter yelled, "What are you doing?" The clockwork girl did not let him remain to challenge me. She dragged him away to the safety I had pointed out to them.


"I am a Recording Angel," I whispered. The sun glinted off my feathers. "It is my duty to protect humans. If I am destroyed, it will be because I would save mankind. All the stories I have collected have been filed and sent to Choir."


That boy would be key. He had been the first human I had ever seen besides my mistress. He would go, with the clockwork girl, into the strip mall empty of all life and find the secret that my mistress had told me of. He would find the Recording Angels, and the Avenging and Warrior Angels. And he would bring us to the Resistance he had spoken of, and we would save humanity from itself.


"I am a Recording Angel," I said, as the first bullet bit into the joint of my arm. "I must protect man." If I had been human, I might have prayed. Instead, I simply repeated, "I must protect man" as the bullets of the enemy soldiers ripped into my metal body.


One bullet slammed into my heart gear, the one that allowed me to function. Aloe oil spilled from the cushion sacks in my chest, dribbled from the voice screen on my face.


And then I heard the screech of iron and bronze, Peter screaming, and I fell into darkness.


***


So that is what happened. I remember now. But how did I survive the shot to my heart gear? I touch my chest, but all I am is strips of bronze holding brass gears and wheels together. I cannot see to discern any damage. How did I survive?


Something is swimming in my tank, the metal box that keeps me in darkness. I can't see it, only feel it, like a shark sensing a larger, deadlier predator. Is it hunting me, this creature? Or is it here to set me free? I don't know.


I flex my fingers, my thin arms, even my battered wings. Feathers fall loose from the brass frames, but it doesn't matter. I was never meant to fly. The liquid darkness that surrounds me has eaten away at the leather strips wrapping my metal body. Now I am nothing but a skeleton of brass rods and iron bolts.


But I am still a Recording Angel. I still have a mission. Just as I always have.


Light explodes overhead, a supernova blinding me with its brilliance. When my ocular screen can take in everything around me, I realize I'm not in the tank anymore. I'm on a floor surrounded by bronze and leather feet - the feet of Recording, Avenging, and Warrior angels, and two pairs of boots I don't recognize.


"Welcome back, Seraphine."


I look up to see Peter and the clockwork girl, Bell, looking down at me. Peter is older now, though Bell is just the same. She is still fierce and mechanical, like me. And Peter....


"You are leader now." My voice croaks from my voice filter. The gangly, sickly blond boy with the haunted gray eyes is gone. In his place is a barbarian king of a man in leather and denim. He holds an assault rifle in his hand, which has been replaced by a clockwork construct. "You lead Cassandra."


He nods.


"You saved me," I say.


"Yeah," he says, and grins. "You're my Recording Angel and the war is about to begin. The Angels have agreed to help, and I wanted you to be there. You saved my life first. You helped me find the Choir."


"Choir?"


The Choir was meant to protect man. We were not made to fight battles. Avenging and Warrior Angels were meant to be protectors only. What has he done? What war is he talking about?


If I were human, fear would be my response now.


"A Choir of Angels," Peter says, and laughs.


I wonder then if I have saved mankind... or doomed it. Because the key that I have saved is now entirely mad. What happened while I was in the dark? Our Savior is now our Destroyer.


I am a Recording Angel, meant to preserve the civilization of man until the Day of Resurrection. Now I must wonder, am I doomed to record the end of the world? Though I am not human, I find that I can weep for the end of the world, for the end of humanity.


I weep, for the answer is yes.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Revision: The Waiting Game (dun-dun-DUNN!)

I used to think that the advice about "finish your manuscript and then sit on it for a month" was silly. Why would I do that? I was good enough, fast enough, I could zip through my revisions right after I finished my rough draft!

I was wrong. So, so terribly wrong.

See, here's my typical process:

1) I come up with an idea

2) I figure out where I want to start

3) I figure out where I want to end

4) I write a mock-query letter to give me some idea of what goes in the middle

5) Then I break it down into a very basic outline of the main events that need to happen

6) Then I start writing

Now, if I'm having trouble connecting my super huge plot-dots (I like that phrase, hee), then I'll go back and do a chap-by-chap outline to help me get to where I need to be. So then I write. And unlike most authors who give the internet interviews I read, I don't just sit down, write it out, and edit later. I have to edit as I go or else I lose my mind. Too many times with my fanfics have I had to scrap whole chapters because there was a major issue that was bugging me but I couldn't figure out at the beginning and I didn't go back and fix it, and so my whole chapter had a lousy foundation and then it crumbled and fell on my head. Let me tell you: ow.

So I write and revise as I go. In fact, every time I sit down to write some more, I skim over the last chapter or two and make any changes I feel are necessary (maybe I forgot a bit of foreshadowing, maybe I found a typo, maybe I mixed up a name, whatever). And then I finish my manuscript. This has seen me through 20 (almost 22) manuscripts, so I'm not worried about this part of my process not working.

(Memo: from what I've seen, they recommend not worrying about revision until you've done your first draft because a lot of aspiring writers look at what they've written and then get hung up on revising but never finish writing their piece. History shows I needn't worry about that little pitfall.)

But here's what happened. In February, I started a novel called HOUSE OF GEARS (which was and is awesome, by the way). And I finished it, and went back and had it beta'd by my critique partner and did my revisions, all in about a month. And then I queried it and actually got a partial request from the amazing Hannah Bowman and a full request from the also-amazing Lana Popovic.

Go me, right? Yeah, just one problem - GEARS wasn't ready. It was really good, even with only a month's work into it, but it wasn't good enough. So I despaired and then decided I would write a new novel and take off with it. Woot, woot!

Yeah, I did that. I have a habit of starting like 6 novels before narrowing my focus to the 1 or 2 that set me on fire, and then going back to the other ones after I've finished the first 2 (usually some plot changes inspired by distance from the project make the less-than-fiery ones burn me up to write them at this point). And I started some really great pieces that I'm going to go back to later. I also got a job, yay me! But eventually I thought, "I really miss the world of GEARS."

See, here's the thing about that - you need to write what you love, and I was IN LOVE with that book. It is, in my opinion, the best thing I have ever written (and finished). Of course, it's also my latest project, and each novel you write should get better, so there's that. But I was so depressed because I knew that GEARS was good enough to publish...wasn't it?

NO! No it wasn't. And this is where time and distance come in! Because I pulled it out a couple months later and I realized it needed some polish. It was good, don't get me wrong - but it wasn't great. My plot was awesome. It needed to be stellar. My prose was cool. It needed to be fantastic. And I needed to rein in my imagination a bit (in the words of one amazing agent who gave me some great advice on the manuscript) because while imagination is great, you need to give other people a roadmap into your head, too.

So I went back and I revised and I revised. And then I gave GEARS to my beta group (a team of mine I assembled at work consisting of about 7 people) and they checked it out. And they're not done yet. But when they are, and I revise based on what they say and what I think after not looking at GEARS for the month that they have it, only THEN will I query again. Because you really do need that time and distance to be more objective about your work.

Listen to agents, editors, and published writers. They really do know what they're talking about. And don't rush! I mean, I have to rush on my rough drafts because if I don't I can't sleep, but NEVER rush on revisions. You're only hurting yourself and your awesome project.

Laters!